It was fun at first

Fingers touching

Embracing bodies

He told me

He liked me

He told me

He was falling in love with me

How could I not melt ?

I needed attention

I didn’t expect it

To turn that way

Through it all

I don’t think he’s a bad guy

He didn’t mean any harm

My voice

He didn’t hear

Or maybe ignored

He told me

I was pretty

And he kissed my lips

How could I not melt ?

He told me

He wanted to get to know me

How could I not melt ?

He caressed my skin

I shouldn’t

Have ignored the warning

When I remembered

My father

As he touched me

The same way that  he did

But I closed my eyes

And hoped

Everything would be okay

I told him

Go gently

He went faster

I told him stop

He didn’t hear me

Or he ignored me

I felt panic

Thought my body

Like an electric shock

I try to relax

I tell myself

“I’m not here”

He finishes

Tells me he’s tired

He’s not a bad guy

He kisses me

Tells me he loves me

He touches my body

Like a grand prize

He’s proud of

How could I not melt ?

I should of known

Something was wrong

When I went home

And cried

And cried

And cried

I told my friend

“You shouldn’t have been so easy”

I cried

And cried

I don’t understand

Why am I so empty?

I don’t sleep

He tells me

” good morning beautiful”

How could I not melt ?

He tells me

I make him happy

How could I not melt ?

I find some excuse

You can’t touch me today

But he jerks off beside me

Tells me I’m beautiful

And leads my hand to his cock

I didn’t want to

But if I don’t

Maybe he won’t think

I’m beautiful anymore

Maybe I won’t make him happy

Maybe he’ll leave me

I dont like him

I like that he loves me

I should of known

When I remembered

My ex boyfriend

A ten year gap

Holding each other

My ex told me he loved me

I did not love him

But I was scared

No one else would

No one else could

I go to his place

Tell him it’s better if we don’t

He agrees

And touches me anyways

Tells me he can’t help it

I’m too sexy and beautiful

How could I not melt ?

I told him it hurt

“Please”

He told me to describe

The pain

As he kept going

I try to push him off

He tells me to stop pushing him off

And goes faster

He slips out

I close my legs

Please take a hint

He lift my legs up

I’m scared to say no

I don’t want to cause a scene

I don’t want to disturb his roommate

I don’t want him to steal my voice

I don’t want to be raped

I don’t say anything

So I do what I know best

I pretend

And pray for it to end

I tell him

I have to go home

He begs me to sleep over

Tells me

He wants to wake up

Next to me

How could I not melt ?

I did not melt

Shame on me

I can feel

The earthquake

Coming near

My fingers trembling

And my legs shaking

As if the world

Is about to claps

I am not ready

For the storm

For my body is still cut

From the last one

I go to the next guy

He’ll fill the void

Inside me

That left me

Feeling

Empty

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