She said I'm addicted to coffee

"I can't live without it"

A laugh escapes her throat

" everyone has their addiction"

I knew what she would ask next

Didn't know if I should lie

" what are you addicted to ?"


I wanted to say it

But instead


Escaped my mouth

I smiled

Water filled my eyes

She didn't get it


I tried

She laughed

" are you addicted to him or pain?"

What's the Goddamn difference ? 

How lucky she was to not understand

She didn't think of anyone

When she drank her fucking coffee

I think of his order

One cream

One sugar

I wish he could love me

I wish he needed me

I wish he could think of me

As much